The Virgin Romance Novelist

By: Meghan Quinn

Chapter One

The Briar Patch

Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch…

“Briar patch? What the hell are you writing?”

“Jesus!” I screamed, as I slammed my computer screen of my laptop shut. “Henry, you can’t just walk up on me and start reading my stories.”

“Stories?” he asked, while creasing his brow. “Bosom, briar patch? Are you writing a sex scene?”

“Why, yes. In fact, I am,” I said, while sticking my chin up in the air.

He crossed his arms over his chest and said, “What the hell are you referring to as a briar patch?”

Feeling the heat of his question start to show on my face, I turned from him in my chair and stacked up my notes so they were neatly put together. Briar patch was a well-respected term to use to refer to a lady’s’ private area, at least that’s what my mother taught me.

“Rosie, what were you referring to?”

Clearing my throat and with my chest puffed out, I looked him in the eyes and said, “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was referring to a lady’s peaceful pleasure garden.”

I watched as Henry carefully studied me with those blue green eyes of his that have spent the last six years studying me and my eccentricities. He was my first ever true friend, and he accepted me for who I was the first day we met: a homeschooled, sheltered, naïve girl being thrown into her first day of college.

Finally, he threw his head back and laughed, causing me to tense immediately; even though we were best friends, I still felt self-conscious about my lack of “modern verbiage.”

“What’s so funny?” I asked, while holding my notebook close to my chest.

“Rosie, please tell me you don’t call a lady’s vagina her pleasure garden.”

“Henry,” I hushed him.

That garnered another laugh from him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and walked me out of my room of the apartment we shared together with our other roommate, Delaney.

“Rosie, if you can’t say vaginay out loud, then there is no way you will be able to write about throbbing penises and aroused nipples.”

Heat washed through me at the mention of a throbbing penis, something I’ve never experienced firsthand. The only penises I’ve seen were courtesy of Tumblr and some careful Googling. I would rather study one in person, because from what I could see from the Internet and what I’ve read in other romance novels, they had a mind of their own…twitching and rising when aroused. I was fascinated to see an actual boner take place. What would happen if I touched it? That was a question that was constantly on my mind.

Growing up, I was very much sheltered by my parents. I was homeschooled and spent many days on the beach or in my room reading. Anything written by Jane Austen was my go-to book, until I found one of my mother’s dirty novels in her night stand. We didn’t talk about sex, ever, so it fascinated me to read a book about heaving breasts and thick bulges. I couldn’t help it; I was hooked.

Ever since then, I’ve been reading romance novels. When I was young, I would only read in the library, so I was never caught by my mom, and I got away with it. During college, I focused on my school work, so it wasn’t until I graduated that I started reading again, feeding the passion for romance inside of me.

“Hey, are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Delaney, my best friend and roommate asked as she looked at me with her hand on her robe-covered hip and her hair tucked up into a towel.

“Umm, no,” I said with an innocent smile. When did Delaney even show up? “What were you saying?”

Rolling her eyes, Delaney repeated herself, “Have you started writing your romance novel again?”

The way Delaney said romance novel in her haughty voice was a little frustrating. I had known Henry and Delaney since my freshman year in college, where we met at freshman orientation and found out we were all majoring in English. For those four years, we had the same classes, same schedules and same housing. We moved off campus after our freshman year and lived in a small three bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, where we currently still live.

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