The Virgin Romance Novelist

By: Meghan Quinn

“Try saying it without developing a light sheen on your upper lip.”

Instantly, I started wiping at my upper lip, feeling mortified.

“There was no sheen,” I defended.

“Oh, yes, there was.”

I waved my hand in the air, trying to erase the conversation and said, “Just get back to your point before I storm off.”

“Fine,” Delaney continued. “Sex sells, so if you want to write a book that’s going to turn on all the lady folds around the damn country, then you’re going to have to put yourself out there and experience what it’s like to have an orgasm, to have a man squeeze that hard little nipple of yours, to know what a dick feels like in your hands, in your mouth, in your pussy…”

“Okay,” I held up my hand. “I get it. I need to have sex. How do you suggest I go about doing that without paying someone on the corner?”

“Tinder,” Henry suggested.

Delaney seemed to consider his option for a second, but then shook her head. “Tinder is too aggressive. I think she would wilt under the pressure. She needs to be taken out on a date first, not meet up at the closest motel. We need someone who’s going to take it easy on her.”

“You’re right,” Henry agreed.

“What’s Tinder?” I asked, feeling a little curious.

Smiling brightly, Henry pulled out his phone from his pocket and nodded his head at me to come closer. I sat on the armrest of the couch with him and looked at his phone as he pulled up an app.

“Tinder is a hookup app. It shows you all the girls or men, in your case, who are in the area and are using Tinder. You can look through the different profiles and see if you’re interested in them or not with one swipe of your finger.”

“Really?” I asked, while looking at his phone in fascination.

Once the app was open, a picture of a female came up on his phone. She was wearing a bikini and had some of the biggest breasts I had ever seen.

“Oh, my God,” I said. “Is she one of your girls?”

“No,” he laughed. “But if I swipe saying I like her, and she says the same about me, then it’s a match, and we can communicate with each other through the app…send text messages, possibly hook up.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“You’re definitely not,” he smiled, while texting on his phone.

“Are you writing her? What happened to Tasha, your college sweetheart?”

Sweetheart was far from the truth. Henry had never really had a relationship. The closest thing he ever had that came close to a relationship was Tasha, and they were off and on between all his other random hookups.

“Tasha is out. She got too clingy, plus, it was a match with this girl, and I’m down for some big jugs.”

“Ugh, you’re a pig.” I turned to Delaney as Henry laughed and said, “What’s my next option?”

With a giant smile on her face, Delaney said, “Online dating.”

“Yes!” Henry fist-pumped the air while finishing up his texting. He grabbed his tablet off of the coffee table, the man had money, and started typing away. “ here we come.”

“Oh, good pick,” Delaney praised. “She won’t get too many creepers on that website.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Henry said, as he started typing away. It seemed like Henry’s displeasure with me not confiding in him had worn off, because he was in full-on Henry helping mode. Typical Henry, it was one of the many reasons why I love him.

Within minutes, he had a profile up and ready for me to fill out with a picture of me from our graduation. I was wearing a red polka dot dress, my red glasses and black heels, blowing a kiss at the camera.

“Don’t use that picture,” I said, trying to grab the tablet from him, but he was too quick and spun away. “Guys will get the wrong idea from that picture,” I stated.

“And what idea would that be?” he asked with a snarky smile.

“That I’m loose…” the minute the words left my mouth, I realized what I was saying. “Ugh, never mind. Do what you need to do to get me, um...some action.”

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